


Rule 62

by cemetrygatess



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bottom Quark, Changing POV, Clearly ridiculous but hopefully enjoyable, Crack Treated Seriously, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Garashir endgame of course, Gossip, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Slightly crack, Top Elim Garak, but Qarak rights, silly and fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cemetrygatess/pseuds/cemetrygatess
Summary: Quark proposes a plan. It’s simple. A few fake dates. Enough to make Julian and Odo jealous. What could go wrong?
Relationships: Elim Garak/Quark, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Odo/Quark (Star Trek)
Comments: 115
Kudos: 126





	1. A Modest Proposal

Quark had enticed him to the bar on the promise of a good vintage of kanar. Apparently he had acquired several excellent bottles in preparation for a Cardassian delegation visiting the station. They canceled, leaving Quark with only one customer who might be interested in the beverage. When offered, Garak had initially pretended to be disinterested, but in truth the vintage was quite good, and was certainly going to be much better than whatever the replicators could make. Garak had twisted Quark's arm about not watering it down, but really he did so more for his own amusement than out of any concern about the quality of the beverage. Quark reluctantly acquiesced. So after much more fuss than he really felt, Garak found himself at Quark's, enjoying what was turning out to be the best glasses of kanar he'd had in years. 

He let the syrupy drink slide down slowly, savoring it's sweet overtones and harsh discordant undertones. There was a bliss in that contrast, though certainly many other species seemed to find it an acquired taste. This variety had aged nicely— its alcohol content slightly more than Garak had initially estimated for. The beverage tasted like home. Before he knew it he was accepting a second glass from Quark. 

It would have been a pleasurable evening entirely if not for one particularly distracting sight. 

Dr. Bashir, at nearly the back of the bar, was flirting with the newest dabo girl. Garak found his eyes drawn to the doctor against his will. The way he leaned into the woman was criminal, and sent a pang of longing through Garak. Dr. Bashir didn’t even seem to notice he was being watched. He was completely unaware of the effect he had on Garak. 

"You're not as subtle as you think you are," Quark said, interrupting Garak's admittedly pathetic train of thought. He leaned over the bar, looking at Elim meaningfully.

"Whatever do you mean?" asked Garak, his tone lighter than he felt.

"Oh come on, half the station knows you're in love with Dr. Bashir. The way you look at him!" Quark was polishing a glass and looking entirely too smug. Garak wanted to slap the look off his face, but more often than not a subtle approach would be more rewarding. 

"Oh really? Am I?" Garak smiled serenely. 

"You should really tell him how you feel, Garak." Quark tilted his head meaningfully. Garak ignored the insinuation. Clearly good kanar came at too high a price at this establishment. One should always expect to be scammed in some way at Quark’s and it seemed today was no exception, Garak thought ruefully. 

"Even if I was interested in the doctor, it's not like he's even interested in men." This was more of a concession than Garak usually would be willing to make, the kanar must be getting to him. 

"Nonsense," Quark replied. "I saw him flirting with a bolian man just yesterday." Quark smirked an infuriating smirk. 

"So you're implying he's specifically disinterested in me? Why thank you, Quark. I think you'll be needing a new customer for all this kanar. I really must be on my way." Garak stood up to leave, surprised by how annoyed he found himself. This particular ferengi really knew how to get under his skin. 

"Now wait just one second, Garak. I think I have a mutually beneficial venture that might just help you in this respect.” 

Garak felt he could strangle this man, was he for real? 

“Maybe Dr. Bashir just needs to see what he’s missing,” Quark continued, titling his head. His eyes lingered on Garak intensely. 

“And how would that occur?” Garak asked, curious despite himself in what Quark would suggest. 

“Just think if you had someone, someone who you could be spotted on dates with. Perhaps this would catch his eye, and it would be him looking longingly across the room, not you.” Quark was leaning in now, making eye contact with Garak, and smiling entirely too wide. 

“What’s in it for you, Quark?” Garak asked, raising his ridges and waiting for an answer. 

“You’re not the only one would would like to catch someone’s attention,” Quark relented. His eyes shifted away from Garak, scanning the bar and seemingly finding nothing. 

Garak tried to think of who Quark might be interested in, only when his eyes lingered too long on a salt shaker was the answer clear as spring on Cardassia. 

“Ahh.. Mr. Odo.” Garak smiled. 

“Pipe down! He could be anywhere, anything!” Quark tensed, his eyes darting around frantically now. 

“I thought you wanted to get his attention?” Garak felt that twist of glee which came with getting the upper hand. 

“Surely, you of all people can appreciate wanting to keep your cards close to your chest. Plausible deniability. Nothing like those hu-mons, always saying exactly what they’re thinking.”

“Yes, that I perfectly well understand.” Garak took a sip of kanar, keeping his eyes on Quark. 

“If we were seen getting dinner, if we were seen walking back to the habitat ring together…”

“It’s not usually my intention to be noticed,” Garak conceded. “The Bajoran occupants of the station tolerate me, but not more.” 

“Well, maybe it’s time to make an exception. Rule of Acquisition number 62; ‘The riskier the road, the greater the profit.’ Don’t you want some chance of catching the doctor’s interest?” 

“What did you have in mind?” Garak asked. 

“19:00 hours, tomorrow at the klingon restaurant.” Quark smiled. 

“It’s a date.” It was a preposterous thing to say and an even more preposterous thing to agree to, but the kanar it seemed had made Garak feel like he had nothing to lose. 

Later, as he walked back to his quarters, Garak had to wonder, had he been scammed? But then if Julian even for a minute considered him as more than a friend, well then it would be worth it. Besides, there were worse people than Quark to have dinner with. 


	2. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quark and Garak meet for dinner.

Quark looked himself over in the mirror. He had to admit, he looked good. For this evening, he’d picked out a particularly well fitted suit, one that Garak had made for him on commission. It felt like a nice touch. It lent authenticity to this whole business, which ran the risk of being entirely unconvincing. 

Perhaps the most convincing gesture was not being at the bar tonight. Several ships had just come in and it was likely to be a busy night. He had put Leeta in charge, which was generally a safe bet. She may not swindle anyone to his liking, but she was also not likely to let things get out of hand. She was also as likely as anybody to prevent his other employees from swindling him. As long as the Grand Nagus didn’t show up to find he’d left the bar in the temporary management of a female, he should be okay. 

Usually such an opportunity for profit should not be passed up, and Quark had to admit he felt silly for doing so. He was breaking half a dozen rules of acquisition, and would likely be surrendering several opportunities for profit. But then, latinum was not the only commodity worth acquiring. Some things were more important than latinum — the rules be damned. Not that he would ever admit that of course. 

When Quark got to the restaurant, he found Garak already seated. He should have expected that from someone as calculated as Garak. It showed good judgement, and unwillingness to be surprised. 

“Quark,” Garak said, gesturing to the empty seat across from him. 

The table was small; their knees almost brushed under the table. 

Garak was dressed in a dark green tunic with exposed shoulder ridges. The bajoran occupants of the station would doubtless understand that the outfit was an invitation. It seemed Quark was not the only person who decided to dress to convince.

“You know, even if this is a total disaster, it still won’t be the worst part of my day. I had a very pushy klingon bride demanding last minute alterations for much of my afternoon,” Garak said with airy detachment. 

“Now really Garak, I would hope you could be a little more optimistic than that. This is a special occasion after all!” Quark replied. He knew enough about Cardassian courtship that it was only appropriate to start with a good argument. 

“Forgive me, Quark, for not expecting this to be anything other than another swindle.”

“That’s business, Garak. But this is pleasure. There’s no angle here,” Quark insisted. He enjoyed the lie just as much as Garak’s inevitable reaction. 

“No angle? You’ll have to do a little better than that Quark!” Garak’s eyes looked delightfully scandalized; it was clear to Quark he was enjoying himself. 

“Try this on for size - I am happy to be here.” Quark leaned in and smiled. He could always count on his winning smile. 

Garak grimaced in a way that seemed good natured, and opened his mouth to retort just as the waiter appeared. The beefy Klingon took their orders. Quark opted for Meshta gagh while Garak partook in Wistan gagh. Quark ordered blood wine for the table. 

“Trying to incapacitate me?” Garak asked once the waiter had left. 

“Trying to get you to relax enough to have a good time!” said Quark. 

“The fact you were willing to leave your bar unattended fills me with suspicion.” Garak looked Quark up and down, and Quark for his part was not sure how much of the look was suspicious and how much was attraction 

“You should be flattered Garak, it’s not for just anybody I’ll leave the bar for an evening.”

“I’m sorry that going on a single date isn’t enough to expel my suspicion.”

And then the waiter returned with the gagh which seemed quite fresh. 

“I can’t believe you like Meshta gagh,” Garak said after several bites of his own food. “The jumping never appealed to me, and besides so much of it gets away before the meal is finished.”

“You can’t citrique my choice in gagh if you’re going to order the Meshta! The targ blood is a dreadful and overpowering flavor.”

“I really will not be critiqued on taste by a man who only thinks of dabo tables and synthol,” replied Garak. His eyes were bright, and suddenly he was looking at Quark in a way that seemed entirely too hungry. 

Quark thought the man might devour him, but found himself excited rather than horrified by the prospect. What a surprising turn, but then Quark was never one to swerve when faced with a challenge. If Garak wanted to do this, so be it. And if Quark was reading the situation correctly, it seemed that he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Garak is hungry for? 
> 
> Comments and kudos will keep me working on this cursed premise.


	3. Up to No Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odo investigates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, the rating changed. You see the tags. You are smart enough to know what's going to happen in this chapter. So um you've been warned. <3

Odo was ending his day as he usually did, a leisurely look at the security monitors and a good crime novel. He was technically off duty, but considering the extra traffic on the station that evening, he felt it was prudent to be on call and alert in case something got out of hand. 

It had been an entirely uneventful hour, until out of the corner of his eye he saw something on one of the monitors. Garak, going into the Klingon restaurant. How odd that seemed, since Odo knew Garak was either in his shop or his quarters most of the time. What could possibly bring him to a restaurant? Perhaps Dr. Bashir was meeting him there, but a quick scan of the monitors showed he was at Quark’s playing darts. How odd that Garak should be meeting someone else for dinner. But then, he was a solid, and they were horribly unpredictable. 

Just as Odo was thinking this he saw Quark enter the restaurant. Well that was even less predictable. There were several large vessels docked, which meant Quark's was more than likely to be busy. Something very profitable would have to be happening in order for Quark to be away from the bar on such a busy night. And with Quark very profitable usually meant some combination of illegal, fraudulent and dangerous. Even more confusingly, he has thoroughly reviewed the cargo manifests of several incoming ships, and found everything to be above board. Quark having a scheme that Odo didn’t know about didn’t sit right with him. 

It was probably nothing, certainly not worth leaving his office. He had the whole station to monitor, and he was pretty sure there were some smugglers aboard. Quark needed to eat like any solid, maybe he just wanted a change of pace. But after 20 minutes, Odo found he could no longer concentrate on his book. He would simply have to investigate. Two known criminals were fraternizing. It would be irresponsible for him to do otherwise. 

He locked up his office and headed for the Klingon restaurant. As he walked, he puzzled over what small creature to transform into. When he was near enough, and satisfied no one was looking, he transformed into a Bajoran roach –– small, fast, and with good hearing they were one of his favorite disguises. And no one ever looked twice at a Bajoran roach as they came in on cargo ships quite often.

So transformed into an innocuous bug, Odo entered the Klingon restaurant and situated himself beneath Garak and Quark’s table. They had begun to eat their gagh and had gotten into a rather heated argument about which vintages of bloodwine were acceptable, and if Quark was selling swill as Garak observed he often did with kanar. 

“I just can't believe you want me to believe that the 2365 is the best vintage,” Garak replied. 

“Perhaps your taste is just bad,” Quark offered. “Klingons never complain when I serve the 2365, and you should know better than anyone that there’s nothing worse than a complaining Klingon customer.”

“I find your assumption that Klingons are the best judge of bloodwine to be unfounded,” said Garak, sounding annoyed. But as annoyed as he sounded, Odo watched as his foot rubbed Quark’s calf. Quark jolted slightly, but didn’t pull away from the contact. 

“You want me to believe you’re the best judge of bloodwine?” Quark asked, sounding incredulous. 

“I have very discerning tastes,” Garak answered. 

This was supposed to look like a date, Odo realized belatedly. But that simply did not make sense. Even he knew Garak only had eyes for Dr. Bashir. The poor doctor either didn’t know or didn’t care. Odo made it a policy to not get involved in the romantic entanglements of solids. He wasn’t about to be the one to tell him. Dax or Major Kira could do that if they liked, and maybe they already had. 

As Odo mused, the waiter came and collected empty plates. 

“You know,” Quark said, “I have a rather good vintage in my quarters. The ‘69.” 

Odo waited to hear Garak slap Quark for that comment, but instead he chuckled. 

“Okay,” he said. 

Well, Odo decided, surely if he followed them to Quark’s quarters he would find out what this was really about. No doubt they would do their real scheming there. Then, Odo would know what was going on here. It certainly couldn’t be a real date, could it? Odo thought after all this time he at least understood solids well enough to know that. 

He scampered along behind them, a bug small enough that no one ever noticed. When they reached the door’s to Quark’s quarters, it opened, and the three of them entered. Odo stopped, positioning himself near the door. It was a good place to watch and listen, and meant he wouldn’t accidentally miss a chance to leave when Garak did. 

Garak sat down on the couch, and looked at Quark expectantly. 

“I do actually have the 2369, but wouldn’t you rather do something else?” Quark asked. 

“I’m very flexible and accommodating, Quark. What did you have in mind?” 

“Well to start you could rub my ears while I bite your ridges.”

Garak didn’t respond verbally, instead he reached over to Quark and pulled him down on top of him, and they proceeded just as Quark had suggested. Garak made loud hissing noises with each bite from the Ferengi, and Quark moaned at the strokes on his ears. 

This was not good, Odo realized. There was no scheming. Just relations between solids. Perhaps he understood them even less than he hoped. And now he was stuck in the room until they finished. And as Odo understood it, these sorts of things could go on for hours if it was desired. 

He turned around facing the wall, but the disembodied hissing and moaning was just as bad. Did Quark really need to moan like that? Or perhaps it was for show. He faced the wall, willing it to be over quickly, instead time moved like slowly dripping moba jam. Odo recounted his evening in his head and tried to understand where he went wrong. Should he have let Quark and Garak get dinner without investigating? Surely that would be a dereliction of his duty. Should he have not invaded Quark’s quarters? It was technically against station policy to enter private quarters without probable cause, but then he felt he had probable cause. Something was up! He couldn’t just not investigate. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of clothing being removed. 

“Ooo,” he heard Quark let out. 

Maybe it would be better to look. He could stop imagining it then. How long had this been going on? A minute, ten, twenty? Suddenly, Odo had no sense of time. All he could feel was cold dread. If he was caught now it would be mortifying. And he absolutely did not want to hear this. But maybe if he looked it would be better. 

When he did look, he found they were both completely naked. Quark was on his knees, with Garak’s prUt in his mouth. Garak was still seated on the couch, rubbing Quark’s ears as the ferengi made loud and wet noises along Garak’s member. 

Odo turned back around. Looking was absolutely not better. The wet noises continued for some time. 

“On your back,” Garak said. 

The sound of shifting bodies came next. Well, at least this would be done soon. 

Odo debated another peak. This was after all a rare opportunity to study solids. Just a peak. He’d never seen what ferengi had downstairs, and he was loath to admit he was slightly curious. 

He turned back around, getting a full view of Quark, who had his legs open wide on the couch. Garak hadn’t entered him yet, instead standing over him with something like a twinkle in his eye. Odo’s eyes were drawn to Quark. It looked squishy, and cavernous, and not unlike the ears. Towards the top, a phallus, maybe 4 inches long protruded, pointing dedicatedly upward. Why did Odo find that so intriguing? 

Garak descended on Quark, his prUt wet and lubricated. Odo found he could not look. He turned back around and faced the wall. He willed it to be over but instead he heard the squelching wet sounds of Garak entering Quark. Moaning and hissing continued. Why had he picked a creature with such good hearing? Odo wanted nothing more to die right there and then. But he didn’t die. He heard everything. 

Finally, what seemed like a lifetime later, he heard Quark climax. Garak followed shortly after. 

“Thank you Quark, for a most enjoyable evening,” Odo heard Garak say along with the sounds of shifting bodies, and clothes being put back on. 

“It was my pleasure.”

When Garak left, Odo followed out into the safety of the hallway. He turned the opposite way as Garak, scurrying away at a pace he thought was quick, but not so quick as to get him noticed. Finally, when he had turned several corners, he shifted back into his humanoid form. 

But he found safety brought him no relief, the anxiety and confusion lingered. Garak and Quark? Really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudo if you want more of whatever this is. Work and life have been crazy so updates will be slow.


	4. Acceleration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak ponders the future

“And that is why the legate was the villain of the story!” Dr. Bashir said with a flourish, ending a several minute speech. 

His eyes had a brightness that pulled Garak in. Julian always managed this; to be so completely wrong about Cardassian literature, but to make Garak wonder if it even mattered. The hubbub of the promenade fell away (this as always was concerning, one did not want to be caught unaware). 

“My dear doctor, once again you have completely misunderstood the very premise of our literature, like a misguided child without any of the appropriate cultural context.” Garak smiled. 

“Intention only matters so much, Garak. The subtext exists whether or not the author intended it and regardless of if it is culturally appropriate!” Julian managed to look so triumphant—it tugged at Garak’s heart in a way funny and unpleasant in turn. He imagined for a moment those human lips on his own rather than being so busy arguing. 

“Jabara to Bashir,” Julian’s com sparked to life, interrupting Garak’s thoughts. “You’re running late for your appointment with Lieutenant Lally.”

“Oh yes! On my way,” Julian said, standing up, and in doing so almost tripping on a Bajoran woman walking past. He caught himself and continued speaking. “I’m so sorry Garak I guess I lost track of time. We’ll have to continue our conversation about _The Legate’s End_ next week.”

“Of course, Doctor.” 

As Garak walked back to his shop he thought about Julian; handsome and kind and everyday more lovely than the last. And it seemed he was completely indifferent to Garak on any level besides friendship. It was death by a thousand pinpricks to feel so strongly for the human and to never have an indication that such feelings were returned. 

Back in his shop, Garak set his hands to work away at some embroidery for a rather picky customer. It had been 3 days since his first date with Quark, and though his hands were busy, his mind continued to churn.

It has been a perfectly good date, and the sex afterwards had been a pleasant surprise. Generally, Garak preferred receiving but Quark was rather on the small side. Besides, there was some joy in having the upper hand on a man like Quark. 

Since then they had had breakfast together twice at the replimat, making sure to argue in full view of half the station. And it was pleasant too, almost comfortable in a way that it shouldn’t be considering it was fake. It was definitely still fake, but the whole arrangement ran the risk of becoming not fake. Not fake was a problem. Garak had absolutely no interest in not fake. 

He’d been with many people of many species in his day. Sometimes it was for work, other times for pleasure and more often than not a convenient mixture of the two. And sex was one thing. Garak liked sex as much as anyone. Sex was not the problem. Dating was the problem. Relationships were the problem.

Garak did not have a desire for these things on their own. Relationships were risky. It meant having a known weakness. He would not enter into such an arrangement casually. It would have to be someone he felt seriously about, someone he could love for the rest of his life. And that was simply not Quark. Oh they could argue well enough, but love, real love? It didn’t seem particularly likely. Besides it wasn’t like he wanted a boyfriend; he wanted Julian to be his boyfriend. Or to be more precise, boyfriend was too insipid a word for what he wanted Julian to be. 

What was becoming evident though was that he and Quark were drifting into something that was not so performative. They were a little too comfortable this morning at breakfast. They were losing focus. Eyes on the prize as it were. 

At this lunch with Julian that afternoon, the doctor had said nothing about it. The question became why had he not mentioned Quark. Was that because he didn't know? Or simply didn't care? He had nearly walked into a Bajoran woman as he got called to the infirmary at the end of lunch, so it seemed possible that he hadn’t noticed yet. Julian could be very focused to the extent where he missed cues others might not.

One way or another the whole business would have to come to an end soon. Garak would have to make sure that Julian most certainly knew. Only then would he be able to guess if his friend cared.

It was time to kick it up a notch. A plan came to mind quickly and easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are still enjoying this silly little fic. What do you think Garak is planning? Speculation welcome.


	5. Just Enjoy the Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak executes his plan. It’s not complicated, or is it?

It was a slow night, and Quark hated slow nights. Latinum wasn’t made on slow nights. Quark was behind the bar, polishing glassware and letting his mind wander. Towards the back of the bar Jadzia was playing Tongo with a few Ferengi. Normally on a night like this Quark would be playing with them. He loved a good game of Tongo as much as anyone, and Jadzia was good company and good completion. However, he had neglected the books a few days longer than he liked, and planned to consult them after he finished cleaning. 

An occasional cleaning was part of being a business owner, and Quark didn't mind it. It gave him time to think, and to let his mind wander. Some of his best ideas for generating profit had arisen from such meditations, so it was not wasted time. 

But tonight his mind wandered not to cleaning but to Garak. Their first date had gone surprisingly well, and the sex had been an unexpected pleasure. Garak was strong and aggressive and devious. He was perhaps a little old for Quark’s usual taste but then he had not seemed old when he’s been inside Quark. And he gave surprisingly good oo-mox for someone without lobes themselves. And those ridges! Quark had come to appreciate Cardassian ridges during the occupation, and Garak’s were in fine form. 

They’d had several breakfasts since, which had been flirty and public. It surprised Quark how much he liked eating with Garak, just how easy it was to fall into a routine with one another. Quark hadn’t dated much recently; it was hard to meet someone serious on a station, especially when StarFleet personnel and Bajoran alike wouldn’t look twice at a Ferengi. There weren’t too many options, so it was easy to look one too many times at Odo and think about how he would be capable of making a phallus of any size or shape. 

But Garak was different. Garak liked that he wasn’t a Federation type. Garak appreciated his business savvy. And maybe it was just nice to have someone to go on dates with, or maybe, maybe it was something more. 

Just then Garak came into the bar, walking with pace and purpose. He strode right up to Quark, and leaned in, grabbing Quark’s lapels and pulling him forward. Garak leaned in and suddenly they were kissing, It was softer than expected, and a surprisingly hu-mon gesture from a Cardassian. Quark let his eyes close, feeling Garak reach up, rubbing gently on Quark’s left ear (his favorite ear, not that he had told Garak that). Quark let out a sigh, and Garak removed his hand; the contact ever too brief. 

Quark’s brain had stuttered to a halt, his eyes fluttered open and there were piercing bright blue eyes in front of him, knowing and playful. 

“What do I owe this surprise?” Quark asked, his voice shaking against his will. 

Garak’s eyes flickered over to the Tongo players, and Quark’s gaze followed. Three Ferengi and one Jadzia Dax were doing a poor job pretending not to watch the pair of them. Right, this was for the benefit of the audience Quark reminded himself. It was not for his benefit, and he did his level best to ignore the way his heart lurched with that realization. Why did he always have to be so attracted to emotionally unavailable people? (It was definitely Moogie’s fault, that was for sure.)

“Well we are involved aren’t we?” Garak asked in feigned annoyance. “I’m allowed to want you at any time of the day or night, am I not?”

“And what do you want from me? A free drink?” Quark shot back. He and Garak were having fun, but Garak wasn’t seriously interested in him, he reminded himself. 

“I want to take you back to my quarter’s and ravish you.” Garak’s voice was silky and smooth. It was like liquid sex on Quark’s lobes. And Garak’s eyes did not look kidding, it seemed Quark in that moment, fake or not they were about to have very real sex for a second time. 

“Bar is closed!” Quark declared loudly to grumbles and glares from the Tongo players. Despite protests they packed up to leave, but not before Jadzia shot him a questioning look — a look he willfully ignored, instead locking eyes with Garak. 

Perhaps slow nights weren’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is so fun that it nearly writes itself. Do you think Garak’s plan was a success?


	6. Because the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak takes Quark back to his quarters as promised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um okay you can read the title here. I mean if you read Chapter 3, you’ve already shown your willingness to engage with whatever is happening here. Yeah um bon appetit!! (or ya know if you’re somehow in this for the plot or whatever just read below the ***)

Garak had bent Quark over the edge of his bed, and was penetrating him with some vigor. Quark for all his usual mouthiness certainly knew how to take what was given to him like a good ferengi. He moaned and Garak continued to thrust into him; the sound of their combined lubrication as well as Quark’s rather loose skin was loud and delicious.

“You like that?” Garak asked, sneering despite the fact that Quark could not see him. 

“Yes,” Quark managed to croak out. 

From this angle, Garak was able to admire Quark’s pert ass, a shape mirrored in the back of his head. He was able to look away for a moment and abstract Quark’s orange red skin, to the beautiful brown of Julian Bashir. Even inside Quark, there was always comparison. What exquisite punishment. 

“Is this profitable enough for you?” Garak asked between thrusts. 

But perhaps it wasn’t because all of a sudden, Quark had swiveled and rotated himself such that he was on his back instead. And two blue eyes stared up at him, rimmed by an intoxicating shadow. That eye contact seemed to Garak to signify more than was being said. Quark’s eyes said this doesn’t have to be fake, and that realization stirred in Garak something akin to panic. He allowed the increase in his heartbeat to increase the speed of his thrusts. 

Quark wrapped his legs around Garak’s buttocks, forcing him further inside and pulling him forward. Garak leaned further, putting his mouth on Quark’s ear and biting down gently. The sound Quark produced was adequately appreciated. 

For all Garak’s inner protestations about what this was or wasn’t, it was lovely to be inside Quark. He had a certain softness that was completely unexpected given his rather prickly personality. Garak had to really grind himself against his companion to create the necessary friction to escalate things. As he did, he allowed his mind to go blank and to focus on the sensation rather than the specifics of the encounter. 

Quark, evidently noticing Garak’s lack of presence and perhaps having had enough of Garak on top of him, shoved him slightly. The push was not enough to move Garak if he didn’t want to move, but he complied regardless. He allowed Quark to shove him into the mattress. Quark then mounted his prUt and began to undulate, taking the control rather firmly. 

Who was Garak to complain? It was rather less work for him, even if no view really compared to that of Quark’s ass. He certainly would not be sharing that insight with Quark, who was rocking rather dedicatedly on top of him. Instead, Garak worked to enjoy the moment, to notice the gleam of Quark’s teeth, and the pleasant shape of his exposed shoulders. He reached out, and gripped Quark’s torso, allowing his body to orgasm, filling Quark. 

Quark continued to undulate, and Garak worked Quark’s phallus with his hand, bringing him over the edge soon after. He rolled off Garak and collapsed on the bed. The Ferengi placed his head on Garak’s shoulder before promptly falling asleep. 

***

As Quark lay there, Garak noticed how it felt — initially mostly sticky. But with more reflection, Garak noticed that Quark was warmer than him; throwing off body heat not like a human but in a quieter way. It was pleasant to be here, but it didn't light a fire in his belly. It was comfortable, but nothing more. Garak idly wondered if being with someone who actually wanted him could be enough. He pretended he didn’t know the answer, and allowed himself to drift off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wasn’t going to have this be a chapter. But then it demanded to exist. Let me know how this was for you!!


	7. Unenviable Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax takes action

The senior staff meeting ended how it always did, with half the staff running off to some urgent meeting or other, and those with less time sensitive tasks enjoying each other’s company for a few moments longer than strictly necessary. This is how Jadzia found herself surrounded by Kira, Chief O’Brien and Odo. 

“Has anyone talked to Julian?” Jadzia asked, looking around the circle meaningfully. Dr. Bashir had run off to perform surgery, giving Dax the opportunity to do some light investigation. 

“I talk to Julian most days,” Miles replied, evidently not understanding what Jadzia was trying to allude to. 

“You mean about Quark?” Kira asked.

“Quark? Why would we need to talk to Julian about Quark?” the Chief asked in disbelief. 

“Oh, you don’t know?” Odo’s tone held something of superiority. Jadzia wondered for a moment why Odo would know anything about it, but then again he did monitor the whole station rather closely, and Quark particularly. 

“Know what?” Miles was beginning to sound a bit concerned. 

“Quark and Garak are involved,” Nerys said. Dax and Odo nodded. 

“Okay, first I didn’t need that image, and second what the hell does that have to do with Julian?” 

Kira shot Dax a look that said ‘you explain this’.

“Oh come on Chief,” said Dax, giving O’Brien a look. 

“No! He’s my best friend! There is no way. Julian and Garak?” Miles looked affronted. 

“The fact that he’s your best friend means you should know better than any of us. I had a routine appointment with Dr. Bashir a few weeks ago and all I heard about for 20 minutes was Garak this, Garak that! He nearly forgot an important scan,” Kira said, her face becoming all the more beautiful as she became more animated. 

“I think I have to check the plasma conduits,” the Chief said, ducking out of the conference room as fast as he could reasonably do so. 

“Well O’Brien isn’t going to tell him,” Kira replied with a snort. 

“I take it none of you have talked about it with him?” Dax asked, hoping against hope she didn’t have to be the one to have this conversation.

“I certainly haven’t,” Odo replied.

“Oh absolutely not! I’m sorry Dax, but if you think someone should talk to Julian, it’s going to have to be you!” said Kira.

***

This was not what Dax had been hoping for. She had just been trying to enjoy a game of Tongo after a long shift. She liked a party, not drama. Drama in moderation was all fun and games, especially when one could watch happily from the sidelines. But drama on the more serious end was no fun at all. Serious drama got in the way of fun. But Julian was her friend, and after her conservation with their mutual friends it was clear that the task fell to her.

After several days of procrastinating, she invited Julian to her quarters, claiming to have just remembered some exciting samples from shore leave to Bajor several months prior. 

Julian bound in with his usual excitement. 

“How was your day? I had a bit of a slow day in the infirmary so I must admit I’m quite excited to see what you have in store for me.” His exuberance was as usual borderline painful to watch. 

“Oh no, well that might be a problem, Julian. There aren’t any samples. It was just an excuse to get you to come by. I have something important to talk to you about.” Dax paced, he hands behind her back. 

Jadzia motioned to the chairs. 

“Something important?” Julian asked, sitting down. Worry had crept into his voice, and his face scrunched slightly. 

Jadzia sat beside him, and tried to school her face into something besides pained, but Julian’s answering expression indicated she had failed to do so. 

“Well I was in Quark’s the other night and I saw something that I felt you should know about.” Jadzia paused. 

“Go on.” Julian looked curious now. 

“Well it’s Garak.”

“Garak?” Dr. Bashir tilted his head and leaned forward. His face remained confused. 

“I saw him kissing Quark,” said Jadzia.

“You saw Garak kissing Quark?” Julian's face seemed to indicate that he hadn’t really understood or internalized what Dax had just said. 

“Yes. And it’s none of my business, I don’t know if you two are exclusive or not, or if it’s even an issue.” The words tumbled out of Jadzia, and she could feel she was doing an ineloquent job of this, but she just continued to plow through.

“Maybe you already knew. But I just wanted to be sure, because Garak did invite Quark to his quarters. I just couldn’t say nothing.” Jadzia paused, noting the bewildered look of Julian’s face. It seemed to Dax that it was a look of pure shock and betrayal. 

“I’m so sorry, Julian,” she continued. “I wish there was an easier way to say this”

Julian remained silent for a moment, the gears in his brain apparently working overtime. 

“You think Garak and I are together?” He stood up, and began pacing. 

“I know you try to be discrete but it’s pretty obvious.” Dax smiled apologetically. 

“And that he’s publicly cheating on me with Quark? Or or that we have an open relationship?” Julian turned his head to look at her, there was something in his eyes she couldn’t read. 

“I didn’t want to assume he was cheating, but it seemed like it was at least possible.”

“Jadzia, I’m not dating Garak.”

“Oh.” 300 years of memory did not prepare Dax for the ten seconds of awkward silence that followed. 

“Yeah, um listen. I should go.” and with that, Julian nearly ran out of her quarters, leaving Jadzia even more confused than before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how do think Jadzia handled that?


	8. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak meets Julian for lunch

On occasion, Garak liked to get lunch before Dr. Bashir arrived. He felt it gave him an advantage. Today was not the sort of day to pass up on the possibility of any advantage. 

Dax had looked positively scandalized several nights prior, and as a result talk would have wound round the station twice already. It was a small station and gossip seemed to be universally appreciated across species and cultures. With this taken into consideration, Julian would have heard by now surely. Garak steeled himself for a diversity of scenarios. 

Would Julian confront him? Or merely allude to the occurrence? Close attention would need to be paid. What if Julian said nothing? He would have to go the whole lunch without seeming hurt or offended. Being ignored was surely the greatest offense, Garak mused. And based on last week’s lunch, he was potentially already being ignored. 

“Quark!? You’re dating Quark?” Julian arrived at the lunch table, breaking Garak’s train of thought. 

Well it seemed he would not be ignored at least. 

“Hello.” Garak looked up slowly from his meal, and replied calmly. It felt good to be in control of a conversation, and it seemed that would not be a challenge. 

“I can’t believe I had to hear from Jadzia that you’re dating Quark.” Julian sat down. Garak noted that his tray contacted the table with a little more force than strictly necessary.

“I am dating Quark. Now you’ve heard it from me.” Garak smiled placidly. 

“I can’t believe it.” Dr. Bashir looked down at his plate and shook his head. 

Perhaps this was working better than expected. Years of desire, and all Garak had to do was show Julian what he was missing. Well, humans were odd creatures with an interesting psychology after all. 

“Doctor, is it unfathomable that someone could desire me?” Garak asked, hoping to further bait Dr. Bashir. 

“That’s not what I meant!” Julian looked frustrated (red and flustered and very cute). 

“What did you mean, doctor?” Garak tilted his head to the side, waiting for a reply. Oh to play dumb for Julian. 

“I just don’t really see what you could possibly see in him!” Dr. Bashir stabbed his curry rather aggressively, frowning. 

“Well we’re both Federation outsiders, we’re both business owners. There’s really quite a lot we have in common.”

“Do you hear yourself? Quark. You’re dating Quark?” Julian shook his head.

“What an unkind way to speak about someone I’ve chosen to date. Really Doctor, I can’t see why you should care.”

“I’m your friend. I want what’s best for you!”

Ha! I think the doctor doth protest too much! Garak thought. Now, he decided it was time to turn the knife. A love confession would surely follow. 

“That’s right! You’re my friend! And as my friend you don’t get a say in who I date. Certainly you have never solicited my opinion about who you date. We get lunch once a week Julian. You can have an opinion on my love life but if you have anything to say other than ‘congratulations’, I’d rather you keep it to yourself.” Garak was suddenly animated. 

He didn’t love Quark or even really want to keep dating him, but something about the past few weeks made him want to defend the ferengi. And as always, there was nothing he wanted more than to argue with the doctor. 

“We used to get lunch every week. Congratulations,” Julian said, his voice suddenly flat and emotionless. The argumentative spark suddenly, gone. The doctor turned and was gone as quickly as he’d arrived. 

Was Julian jealous? Certainly it had seemed so initially, but the way he had shut down just as their argument had begun to get heated raised questions. It wouldn’t have been how a Cardassian would have responded. And while Julian wasn’t a Cardassian, Garak remembered distinctly the vigor and stick-to-itiveness with which he had courted Dax (he’d watched then with some jealousy, only mollified by Julian’s lack of success). No, Julian giving up and turning tail did not bode well for Garak. 

He was left at their normal lunch table, his hasperat getting cold, and wondering if he had miscalculated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how do you think that went for our boys?


	9. Panopticon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odo monitors the station. For security reasons. Of course.

Odo lounged in his desk in the security office, enjoying the feed from the promenade at lunch time. It was always interesting to watch the life and times of solids. 

He noticed Garak sitting alone, clearly waiting for Dr. Bashir. Well this would prove to be interesting. Jadzia would have talked with Julian since the staff meeting several days ago. He must know about Garak and Quark by now. 

How would he react? Odo watched in rapt attention, and noted that the human seemed angry and flustered. Well then, Dax certainly had spoken to Dr. Bashir. And it seemed the doctor was not all that pleased to find Garak’s attention elsewhere. 

The exchange was rapid fire but what was absolutely clear was that Garak was very calm and Julian was not. 

He flicked on the audio. It seemed like listening would be beneficial. 

If asked, Odo would flatly deny that he’d bugged the station. But really it was for security purposes. These sorts of things were necessary. 

“I just don’t really see what you could possibly see in him!” Dr. Bashir said rather animatedly.

“Well we’re both Federation outsiders, we’re both business owners, really there’s quite a lot we have in common.” Garak was smiling that vacant smile of his, the one that Odo always distrusted. 

“Do you hear yourself? Quark. You’re dating Quark?” 

Well Dr. Bashir didn’t need to be so unkind to Quark. It wasn’t his fault that he was a ferengi. 

“What an unkind way to speak about someone I’ve chosen to date. Really Doctor, I can’t see why you should care.” Garak looked almost hurt. 

Odo nodded in agreement, only afterwards catching himself wonder why he cared about Quark. It was just that the doctor was being rather rude. And it very clearly wasn’t about Quark, so the insults were particularly unnecessary. 

“I’m your friend. I want what’s best for you!” A likely story, thought Odo. 

“That’s right! You’re my friend! And as my friend you don’t get a say in who I date. Certainly you have never solicited my opinion about who you date. We get lunch once a week Julian. You can have an opinion on my love life but if you have anything to say other than ‘congratulations’, I’d rather you keep it to yourself.” The Cardassian was no longer calm. He clearly wanted to elevate the situation to an argument. Classic flirtation technique which was likely to go over Dr. Bashir’s head. Even Odo was less clueless about what Garak really wanted out of that relationship. 

“We used to get lunch every week. Congratulations,” Julian said before storming off. 

Odo pondered the scene that had just transpired in front of him. 

Garak looked at Quark like a man playing an instrument. Garak looked at Dr. Bashir like he was the whole world. And it seemed from the doctor’s animated reaction that it was mutual. It was the business of solids, and often terribly confusing, but even Odo felt certainly there was one indisputable fact; Julian and Garak were hopelessly in love. 

But then where did that leave Quark, aside from Julian’s numerous unfair insults? Garak had certainly decided to date Quark to rile up Dr. Bashir. But then why had Quark agreed? Had it been selfless? That didn’t sound like Quark one bit. 

Maybe it was a sexual matter. Maybe Quark was helping Garak out in exchange for sex. But that didn’t seem right. Quark generally didn’t seem to have a problem finding partners. And both Garak and Quark had seemed to enjoy that activity together. It didn’t seem like Quark would need to do anything other than ask in that regard. Solids had sex for all sort of reasons. It was unfathomable logic to Odo. Regardless he felt like there was some other motivation, something he was missing. 

What could possibly be in it for Quark? Where was the profit in this exchange? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not think about the implications of this chapter title or the idea of DS9 as a surveillance state. Definitely don’t think about it. I’m not thinking about it. Nope. 
> 
> Also endless thanks for all the love y'all have been giving this fic. It's a joy to write and share.


	10. Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles tries to give Julian a pep talk

Julian was already through his first drink of the evening and seemed rather dejected. It was unlike him. Miles used to find Julian a bit too animated, but had in time grown used to the vigor of his younger friend. Now to see a sheen of hopelessness fall over him, Miles regretted ever hoping Dr. Bashir would just be quiet. Clearly quiet did not suit Julian. (Not that he would ever tell him that.)

The two friends sat on the lower level of Quark’s. They had initially come for darts, but one game in and Miles had suggested they get a table. It was no fun playing if Julian wasn’t really interested. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chief O’Brien asked. 

“You’ll judge me. Or else you’ll laugh,” Julian replied rather bitterly, throwing back the last of his first glass of whiskey. 

“What if I promise not to?”

Julian took a deep breath. “I think I missed my chance with Garak.” He slumped into his seat, eyes fixated on the empty glass. His finger fidgeted with the edge of the rim, tracing sad semi-circles.

“Yeah okay we can talk about this, but let me get us another round first,” the Chief replied. He gave Julian a swift pat on the back before walking up to the bar to get them another two whiskeys. This was not a synthale conversion. 

He returned with their drinks, and found Julian hadn’t moved a muscle. 

“So I’m guessing this is about Garak and Quark?” Miles asked, sitting down across from his friend. 

“I really thought we’d been flirting all this time,” Julian replied in a voice quiet and sad. 

“Yeah that’s a tough break.”

“It’s just that Garak is so painfully beautiful, and clever and interesting. But of course that sort of person isn’t interested in me,” Julian said, continuing the pity party. 

Good Lord, he owed Dax an apology and now that he thought of it, Keiko too. Clearly he’d been willfully ignoring this. He didn’t blame himself. It had been a privilege to ignore it, and one no longer available to him. Lovesick Julian was basically the worst version of Julian. 

“Don’t talk about yourself like that. Besides you’ll meet someone new soon enough,” Miles said. He could insult Julian sure, but Julian insulting Julian was a bridge too far. 

“Well but that’s the thing. I don’t really want to meet someone. I want to date Garak. And after all this time, I can’t believe I’m losing out to Quark!” Julian continued rather dramatically. 

“I can see how that would be hard to face,” the Chief replied. 

“Oh what am I saying,” said Julian collapsing into himself. “Yes I can, Quark is a catch. Anyone with eyes can appreciate those teeth.”

“Yeah,” said Miles, not really knowing what else to say to a comment like that. 

“Leeta would rather be with Rom. Garak would rather be with Quark. This just keeps happening to me! Something about the magnetic appeal of ferengi no doubt,” Julian said, taking another drink. 

“Sure,” Chief O’Brien replied. He was glad to be drinking whiskey. Clearly the additional drink was the correct call. 

“They’re just such a pretty pair. The two of them. It’s really only natural to be jealous.”

“Julian... “ 

“You’re very pretty too Chief. And I mean that honestly.” Julian smiled for a moment.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“If you say so. Anyway it’s all well and good to think there are other fish in the sea and all that. There are! But I don’t know… I just feel so embarrassed. I don’t know how I could have read the situation that wrong.” Julian frowned. 

“I’m sure you’ll land on your feet, Julian.” 

“His feet… “ Julian whispered. “I’ll never get to see his feet.” The despair that colored his friends face was almost too much. 

No. Miles was absolutely not going to pay attention to that comment. There were just things you didn’t need to know about your best friend and that seemed plenty over the line. 

“Well maybe you should go for it! A grand romantic gesture! Maybe Garak just didn’t think you were interested,” Miles suggested. He couldn’t believe he was trying to convince Julian to woo Garak, but then again, anything to get him to stop talking about Cardassian feet. 

“I asked out Dax so many times when I first got on the station, and I’d like to think I’ve grown up since then. I just don’t want to be that guy who can’t take a no, or can't respect when someone is taken.” Julian let out a sigh. “It would just be easier if he wasn’t so beautiful.”

Miles didn’t know what to say to that so he just patted Julian on the back and took another sip of his own drink. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Nabielka who commented on chapter 1 "imagine Julian post-Leeta wondering why *two* people he's been interested in have apparently chosen Ferengi over him! Rom?! Quark?!"
> 
> You were absolutely right it is hilarious and I added it to the fic!
> 
> Comments and Kudos constantly appreciated.


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